By R. Bruce Wright
Recently, a number of systems have asked us about resources available to train their staffs on how to more effectively handle customers who may be upset, angry or out of control. Based on the number of inquiries we have received, it is clear that this is an issue of increasing concern to these systems, and perhaps to others as well. Without taking a side on the question of whether consumers are, or are not, more hostile these days, we all can agree that the days of folks being so happy to have electric power that they would gladly accept any level of service they got are long gone. Consumers are clearly more demanding today and hold higher expectations than they did in the past. As a result, office staff members (and field people too!) need training in how to meet customer expectations, how to avoid escalating tensions when disagreements occur, and how to safely and effectively defuse confrontations before they get out of hand. Too often, an untrained response makes the problem worse by pushing angry consumers’ "hot buttons."
During a disagreement, emotions can overwhelm logical thinking. As emotions take control, hostilities escalate in a circular and self reinforcing hostility cycle. There are only two rules to this hostility game. Rule #1- Whenever attacked, respond defensively. Rule #2- Whenever attacked, counter attack.
Here's what can happen. A consumer comes in feeling unhappy, ready to get angry with us. The customer makes a comment we don’t like. We get defensive and make a response that the customer sees as ineffective. The customer then feels even more frustrated and helpless, and reacts negatively to our response, getting louder or angrier. We push back, get defensive, cite the “rules,” lose our temper, or turn him off. As a result, the original problem is lost, the consumer gets even more angry, and the cycle continues, round and round.
Who wins this contest? In this type of situation, when tempers flare and tensions escalate, no one really wins. What then can we do to stop this cycle of self-reinforcing hostility, to stop this "no win" cycle? The first step in getting off this merry-go-round is simply to recognize that it is a lose-lose game. Only then can we begin to defuse the situation and move to take control, using our self-control.
To defuse the cycle we must refuse to play the hostility game. The techniques required are straightfoward and easy to understand, although using them requires some training and concerted effort. To stop playing the game we must:
- Stop the attack/counterattack routine. Instead of defensively counter-attacking, we should simply explicitly state an acknowledgement of the other's feelings.
- Move to refocus the conversation by agreeing to work on the actual underlying problem.
- Begin to really set about genuine problem solving by searching for a reasonable solution.
But, before we can do any of these things, we need to get enough control of the situation that the other person will be able to stop and listen to us. Here's a way to begin to turn down the emotional heat.
When people are angry, trying to stop them from talking only makes things worse. Instead, you are more likely to succeed by not interrupting and letting them talk themselves out. Listen carefully to them, wait until they run down, and refrain from counter-attacking in response to their points. Think of it as a conversational “rope-a-dope” technique that you can use to let them "punch themselves out." Eventually they will run out of things to say. This is your opportunity to begin to guide the conversation. You should immediately acknowledge their emotions by explicitly expressing your recognition (and understanding, if appropriate) of their feelings, while being careful not to supply any more ammunition. You should be firm and assertive in your speech, but avoid extremes. Be careful not to be aggressive, while at the same time avoid passive/aggressive techniques, such as withdrawal.
Once you reach a level of functional control, start by dealing with their feeling first. Reiterate your understanding of their situation and emotions, using a calm voice, but avoid “talking down.” Only then can you begin to refocus the conversation. To refocus, you must stay calm. Do not try to defend yourself, or defend earlier responses they may have received from others before you got involved. Instead, offer to start fresh and get the actual problem on the table. Agree to look for a solution to the underlying problem, and avoid references to phrases like “the rules,” “our policies” or “the way we do things here.”
Only now can you hope to start problem solving. Start by bringing the real problem to the forefront of the discussion. Don’t look for excuses, and don't get trapped into discussions of fault in what went wrong, who made errors or why it happened. Just deal with the real problem the customer has. If pressed about the errors of others, point out only that you can’t undo what others may have done, but you can and will be responsible for what happens now. To help you reach a reasonable solution, have a plan to get others in your organization involved for technical assistance or for needed approvals.
Along the way, remember that before you can control the situation, you must first keep control of yourself. Avoid making any new errors and keep directing your attention to the original problem, not to the process or to the argument itself. Start the “defusing” early, before the other person gets backed into a corner and try to remove the “audience” by taking the person to a separate room out of the public view.
Key points to remember for success in handling an angry consumer include:
- Angry people want what they want, not what we think they should want
- Attacks provoke counter-attacks and escalate hostility
- Defuse with CARP- Control, Acknowledge, Refocus, Problem-solve
- Control yourself first, then remove the audience
- Start to "defuse" early on
- Use body language to avoid escalation of hostility
- Get others involved as needed
- Have a plan and follow it
- Always work to find a reasonable solution
Here are three more ideas to mull over as you consider a plan to handle hostile customers.
- Doing things right the first time, every time, is the definition of good customer service.
- Good customer service does more than anything else to produce happy customers.
- Happy customers are far less likely to become angry with you.
One final point. Do you want training materials on this topic for your staff? If so, it shouldn't be difficult to take this article, add your own ideas, and build an effective program you can use to train your staff on how to handle hostile customers. But, if you prefer, you can just drop us a note and we will email you our PowerPoint template, which you can customize and use instead!